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H2NO: Coca-Cola, the M$ of Soft Drinks?
By Captain Tenille, Section Culture Posted on Wed Aug 1st, 2001 at 02:58:47 PM PDT

Water. It sustains life, gets us clean, falls from the sky and waters plants, and quenches our thirst. Everything on Earth, except rocks, I guess, is dependent on it. Sometimes, nothing refreshes you like a nice tall glass of ice water. Surely, no one would want people to not drink more water? Well, if you're Coca-Cola and the Olive Garden, you start a campaign called H2NO aimed at reducing "tap water incidence" and raising profits by subtly encouraging people to purchase "alternative beverage choices". I know that in places like Mexico or Cambodia you shouldn't drink the water, but the Olive Garden? Sheesh.

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H2NO: Coca-Cola, the M$ of Soft Drinks? | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

Confusion (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by Tatarigami (chris@evilNOSPAMgenius.org.nz) on Wed Aug 1st, 2001 at 10:48:52 PM PDT
(User Info) http://www.evilgenius.org.nz

I spent five minutes staring at this post trying to figure out from a hazy memory of highschool chemistry classes what nitric acid would be if you removed three oxygen atoms from the molecule -- before figuring out it's just a too-cute marketing slogan.

I need more coffee, yes I do...

dead link. but google's got it cached. (none / 0) (#2)
by gold tone ranking monkey on Thu Aug 2nd, 2001 at 02:18:53 PM PDT
(User Info)

first page
second page

"that's right. one key, several gates, multiple apocalypses."

Heh. (none / 0) (#3)
by Captain Tenille (jeremy@SPAMMAKESBABYJESUSCRYsatanosphere.com) on Thu Aug 2nd, 2001 at 05:34:01 PM PDT
(User Info) http://www.satanosphere.com

Figures they'd do that.

----

/* You are not expected to understand this. */

I'm not trying to beat a goose to death with a condom full of nickels. -- just joe
[ Parent ]

hi, i'm fucking retarded. (none / 0) (#4)
by gold tone ranking monkey on Thu Aug 2nd, 2001 at 07:33:21 PM PDT
(User Info)

ok, the second page is actually here. mea culpa.

"that's right. one key, several gates, multiple apocalypses."
[ Parent ]

Hooray for Corporate America!!! (none / 0) (#5)
by Jonah Hex on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 05:31:43 PM PDT
(User Info)

I don't know how many of you work for big companies. God knows I hope I'm the only one, but I lose my shit every time I see something like this. I've worked in retail since I got out of college (putting that higher education to work)and these sorts of things come out all the time. Mostly they are new "initiatives" designed to "increase customer awareness of the corporate brand" or to "promote an aggressive price image". The main effect seems to be more stress on the store employees because here comes another new program to learn. Or a new set of scripted phrases they will be forced to utter at the register for fear of getting "written up" or getting fired. Not the intended effect of "increased brand awareness" or "improved price image". It's funny that the gist of most of these memos (including "H2NO") is, "if we $ELL more products, we'll make more money". No shit, if you need to reiterate that basic truth in a memo to the management of your company, the next "initiative" should be to pull your heads out of your corporate asses instead of churning out more "initiatives". PHEWW! maybe I'm getting a little bitter.