September 23, 2002
Anaheim, CaliforniaTonight we'll finally have that Triple Threat Women's match that was bumped last week, plus Kane will team up with a mystery partner to take on the UnAmericans.
WWE Women's Championship: Triple Threat
Trish Stratus (c) vs. Victoria vs. Molly Holly
Just like any other crappy womens match, but now with 33% more crappy action, I guess. A lot of hair-pulling, a lot of slapping and kicking, a lot of pants that need to be hiked back up...and when all was said and done, Trish rolled-up Molly to retain her title.
**Backstage, Goldust and Booker T are showing a gathering of Superstars the footage of Bischoff getting his face sat on by Rikishi from Unforgiven. Goldust hadn't seen anything as unbearable since the Fozzy Concert. Jokes about Butts are Cracked, but Rico peeks in and says he's going to tell on everyone.
Bischoff's bitch tells him what's going on, and Eric declares that he'll put a stop to all of his wrestlers laughing at him.
**Eric goes to the ring: He's outraged that none of his workers came to his aid, while all of Stephanie's wrestlers helped her during the Wedding Fiasco. And to make matters worse, Vince McMahon has decided that all contracts from this point out are final, and that there will be no more jumping from one show to the other. Fortunately for Bischoff, he had succeeded in getting two more wrestlers to jump before Vince's order went into effect.
He demands respect and calls out Booker.
Booker's having a great time: He says that HLA now stands for Huge Lumpy Ass and mentions that Bischoff's breath is "heinous, like a fat man's anus." After 3 minutes Rosey and Jamal attack, but T is able to hold them off...until Rico interferes and the numbers take over. Goldust tries to save but doesn't do any good either.
Backstage, Rico wants to take on Booker T, which Eric agrees to...Chris Jericho shows up, livid over the comments Goldust made about Fozzy, and demands to have Goldust in the ring tonight. Bischoff makes it a match for the Intercontinental Title, which puts Chris off a bit.
NOTE: Say, does anyone remember last year when Booker T was a Heel and suffered the StinkFace? Remember how the backstage skit prior to that had Rikishi taking a noisy dump? Remember how Booker puked all over Michael Cole afterwards? Remember how the entire lockerroom laughed at him for the next few weeks?
Singles Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show
Good thing Jeff's high on pain killers, 'cuz he just got killed.
**We cut to a Classroom somewhere, where Chris Nowinski has challenged Tommy Dreamer to a fight in HIS element. So much for no more Hardcore Matches..I suppose this one's alright because it's supposedly not in the arena.
Funny bit as Chris whacks Tommy with a Singapore Cane, then shows him where Singapore is on the map. Tommy pretty much has his way for most of the fight, even throwing Nowinski's head through the ceiling (Just like Perry White in Superman II) and throws him against the wall hard enough to leave an imprint. It ends when Dreamer cracks Chris across the face with the cane. We're being told now by the WWE that Nowinski's jaw was shattered from that hit, but in reality he's just taking time off to have a lump removed.
**Jim Ross introduces the 1st of the final jumpers: Randy Orton...whoop-de-fuckin'-do.
Randy Orton: Only the 2nd wrestler (besides The Rock) to be a 3rd-Generation wrestler. Son of the Ace, Cowboy Bob Orton who's probably best remembered as being Rowdy Roddy Piper's Henchman (with the arm in a cast that never healed) back in the mid-80s.
Singles Match
Steven Richards vs. Randy Orton
The StevieKick isn't enough to put down Orton, who wins with a Flying Plancha.
**Live Band**
For some reason, we get to watch The Union Underground perfrom Across the Nation from the Forceable Entry CD. A bunch of women including Lillian Garcia (but not Trish) dance and gyrate. At least Staci was in the mix.
**Flair explains his actions from last night: He credits HHH with putting the desire back into him, he doesn't care what the fans want anymore...and with him at Triple H's side, they'll be unstoppable.
RVD, complete with taped ribs, wants to say something, but he gets punked from behind by H and gets double-teamed. Bubba Dudley tries to save, but goes down as well. (seems to be the theme of the night.)
A Happy Bischoff announces that Bubba and the injured RVD will team up against H and Flair tonight.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Goldust
Goldust goes for the Shattered Dreams which would've drawn a DQ, but who cares. The ref apparently cares, as he blocks the path. Goldust shoves the ref, then eats a Missile Dropkick from Y2J. He goes into the Walls of Jericho and taps out.
Shattered Dreams: With the victim in the corner, Goldust hangs both legs over the middle ropes, leaving the nether regions open for a Field Goal Kick.
Missile Dropkick: A dropkick from the turnbuckle.
WWE Tag-Team Championship
The UnAmericans (c) vs. Kane & ?
Kane's partner, the 2nd Smackdown jumper: The Hurricane!
Regal tries to interfere, and when that doesn't work Test tries to interfere as well...and a whole bunch of miscommunicated heel shenanigans until a bunch of refs force Regal and Test away from ringside. Lance accidentally hits Christian with a Leg Lariat..and Kane and Hurricane give simultaneous Chokeslams! Kane pins Storm.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the time of the fall: 6 minutes and 27 seconds, your winners, AND NEWWWW World Wrestling Entertainment Tag-Team Champions, KANE AND THE HURRICANE!!!
NOTE: While this is their first time as champions together, Kane has been a former tag-team champion 6 times: Twice with Mick Foley, Twice with X-Pac, and Twice with his half-brother The Undertaker.
**Hurricane claims that Kane picked him as a partner because they both wear masks, they both use the Chokeslam, and they both have incredible physiques (ahem). Kane shows up and says it's all about them being a couple of freaks. Kane celebrates by planting a kiss on Terri Runnels.
**Meanwhile, the UnAmericans are blaming the American Incompetency of the referee. Regal tells them to stop whining like a bunch of Americans and to regroup instead. He tells The Coach that the interview is over "So PISS OFF!"
Singles Match
Booker T vs. Rico
Booker wins easily..and then gets jumped by the Island Boys again. Goldust again tries to help, and does a little bit better this time, but Rico remains the factor that sees them getting squished.
A pleased Bischoff announces that next week, in Booker's hometown of Houston, Booker & Goldust will wrestle Rosey and Jamal in a tag match. Booker says that Bischoff is what he eats: An Asshole.
Tag-Team Match
Bubba Dudley & RVD vs. Triple H & Ric Flair
Once again the main event had to be rushed, because CSI is on right after Raw tonight.
Flair pins Bubba with a handful of tights.
Afterwards, Bubba tries to Powerbomb H through a table, but it got fucked up and Bubba injured his shoulder legit. RVD had to improv, and was able to get Hunter through a table properly (with Flair having to look stupid by not being able to stop it in time.)
***
Wrestling Deathwatch
Rocco Rock, formerly one half of Public Enemy with Johnny Grunge, was found dead of a massive heart attack two weeks ago. He was 49.
Public Enemy got their first exposure while wrestling for ECW, and achieved national exposure when they wrestled for WCW. They were throwing people through tables years before the Dudley's were ever on WWF tv.
