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April is Foot Health Awareness Month
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By hikokigumo, Section Culture
Posted on Thu Apr 4th, 2002 at 09:29:45 AM PDT
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Do you feet stink? Are your socks consistently crunchy? Do you have Hobbit Toes? Blisters like overripe kiwifruit? Unsightly calluses? April is the month to do something about it, says the American Podiatric Medical Association.
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Not everyone is gifted with happy, healthy feet. Like anything worth having, foot health takes a bit of effort. That's why the APMA has declared this month Foot Health Awareness Month, in honor of the Pedoatleta family of Gigante Verruga, Uruguay, who were killed April 6, 1913 by a particularly vicious strain of onychomycosis, or toenail fungus.
Though its possible this is just a ploy to get you to buy more Dr. Scholl's, there are a few simple and cost-effective things you can do to improve your general level of foot health:
- Wax those hairy toes! - If your feet are exposed to a lot of tar or adhesive plaster, you're begging for a folliculitis infection. But shaving only aggravates the condition, creating more annoying pustules, so wax those tiny bacetria forests and keep them clean, and you may avoid scarring.
- Avoid Nikes - Nikes, and many other other name brand shoes, are made in sweatshops by poor people. As we all know, poor people carry lots of diseases, like Ebola.
- Don't wound yourself - The sixth point in the APMA's "On-the-job" cautions is "Follow the rules. Don't cut corners. Use your equipment as specified." Good advice. Also, do not cut the middle, bottom, or any other area of the foot, no matter how unappealing the calluses. Work equipment that should not be used on the feet includes blowtorches, motor vehicles, harpoons, etc., unless you are a trained physician or dominatrix.
- Keep your feet ventilated - This dumbass walked around with plastic bags on his feet for the better part of a month, and his feet looked like this. I think that makes its own case.
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