The event officially started at 4:30 but the doors opened at 2:30 so I was ready to be there by 10am. I wanted to eat a big breakfast since I knew how long I'd be gone, but was just too damn excited to do so.I was tearing through my clothes looking for something in particular, I wasn't going to go without it. My carefully folded laundry was thrown every which way until I found it: A red t-shirt, small sized. Purchased in 1987, this shirt was now practically see-through. It still fit me, although it was snug. Blazed across the front, in fiery gold letters, was Hulkamania.
I went out to the porch and made one last check of everything: I had my keys, my wallet, my phone, my binoculars...I rushed back into my room and got my ticket.
***
The bus dropped me off at Safeco Field at 11:30 and a line had already started. I went to the Ticket Holders with Bags section where for all practical purposes I was at the front. Now we just needed to wait three hours.
The other people waiting were obviously fanatics as well. They had come over from Yakima and we talked about wrestling and this weekend for awhile. One of them was 8-months pregnant and she showed where Ivory had written an autograph in Magic Marker across her belly.
Every 15 minutes a recorded announcement blared over the loudspeakers announcing the Safeco Field Rules of Conduct. Among other things, we were forbidden to engage in obscene language or gestures (but what about Stone Cold's finger?), forbidden from taunting (but what about chanting "You Suck" at Kurt Angle?) and were told that if anyone hindered our enjoyment of today we could notify security. (Did that mean I could turn in A-Train and The Big Show for stinking the ring up and hindering my enjoyment?)
The line and the crowd got larger. Security kept asking us to make a space whenever they were escorting someone in a wheelchair. At one point I heard the familiar "Make room please" and had backed up. My shoulder got bumped, and when I looked it was Al Snow who had bumped me! None of us followed him because we didn't want to lose our place in line. I think he and security were counting on that.
More than once limos would drive by and turn into Safeco, one of them had the window rolled halfway down and it was Maven riding there.
When one of the Yakima gang returned from wherever they had gone, we told her she missed Al Snow. She told us that Rico had made an appearance over on the other side.
As it got closer to the time we could hear Ashanti practicing her song, and heard some pyro as well.
It was getting to be time for the doors to open, and whenever the Recorded Announcement would start up again people would boo. Finally, the Security and Ticket People asked us to back up away from the doors since they opened outwards. The doors opened and everyone cheered, but nobody was moving forward yet. We waited for five minutes, wondering what was taking so long, and then they closed the doors again. A chant of "Let Us In" started, but before that could take off the line next to us (presumably the people without bags to check) started chanting "You Suck". They kept a little pause in between so my line took advantage: "What?"
You Suck!
What?
You Suck!
What?
And finally they opened the doors for real. I went in and started up the stairs, a camera crew was setup recording us. I wandered around at first, still not believing that I was actually there. I took the long escalator ride to section 306 and when I finally walked through and saw the arena it finally hit me once and for all: I was at Wrestlemania.
I sat in the 23rd row, where 25 is the top of Safeco, but I had a clear view of the ring. The people were small but I knew I would have no trouble making out who was who. I was situated slightly behind the entrance to the left, and had a partial view of the production crew behind the curtain. A lot of the wrestlers who weren't part of the show were in the skyboxes.
A loud cheer went up from the audience at one point making me assume a celebrity was taking a seat, but I couldn't locate with my binocs where it was. I now know it was Tito Ortiz.
A group of teenagers were seated in front of me and when they left to get food the girl asked if I'd hold on to her Program. Of course I said I would and read it while they were gone. It was just fluff about the wrestlers and what led up to tonight's matches, but it mentioned something about Michael Cole I hadn't heard before: His background is in Broadcast Journalism and he had covered the Clinton Administration and the Bosnia Conflict. That very well may be, but at the same time we can argue that Satanosphere has covered 9/11, The Shuttle Disaster and Gulf War II: Attack of the Clones, so take that for what you will.
I glanced out the window and couldn't believe the line. It was wrapped around the stadium, went across the railroad tracks and continued along down almost as far as I could see.
When 4:00 rolled around it was time for Sunday Night Heat. John Cena came out with a couple cardboard cutouts of what I assume are rap stars but that's too cool for me. I'm not even going to bother looking them up for this report. It was hard to hear what he was saying and most people didn't seem to care anyways. He beat up the cutouts and tried to get the audience to shout "FUCK" but nobody was in the mood.
The screen showed Nathan Jones talking backstage when Guido bumped into him. Guido then showed that he had snagged Nate's wallet and took off. They went around the corner, we heard what sounded like gunshots on this sound system but was actually just chairshots. A-Train and The Big Show emerged, the camera went around the corner and Jones was lying unconscious with a chair draped across him.
Then Howard "The Fink" Finkle entered the ring to loud cheers and started announcing. Good Ol' JR came down, Jerry "The King" Lawler came down, then Michael Cole and Tazz came down together. Tazz and Cole had a ringside announce table while Lawler and Ross would move to an announcing booth further off. Before the show could properly start members of the Production Crew gathered in front of the Wrestlemania Logo on the ramp for a group picture. That has got to be a fun job if you don't mind living on the road.
And now it was time for the Sunday Night Heat match. Out came the World Tag-Team Champions: Chief Morley & Lance Storm. Following them were D-Von & Bubba Dudley. When Rob van Dam came out he got a loud pop, but the pop was huge for Kane.
Let me tell you something about Pyro. It is LOUD! Not only that, but it's hot too. Consider this: I was on top of Safeco, the Pyro was down below. I was a little ways off to the side as well. Even though the roof was closed it was still open air on the sides and a breeze was blowing through. Even with all that, everytime Pyro went off I'd get hit with a blast of heat.
World Tag-Team Championship
Chief Morley & Lance Storm (c) vs. Rob van Dam & Kane
They all start at once and the champs tried to escape but RVD jumped out on them. Then Kane did a flying Pescado on them too. (apparently that was during a commercial) It became RVD and Morley for a bit, with the Chief in control. Morley missed an elbowdrop and Kane got tagged. He cleaned house, Chokeslammed Storm, and van Dam was on top for the 5-Star Frog Splash when Morley shoved him off into the railing. With everyone distracted The Dudley's got into the ring behind Storm, and everyone cheered while they 3D'd him. van Dam snuck in and covered Lance, but Bubba dropped an elbow on him, rolled Storm on top and the champs retained. It looked like D-Von and Bubba were arguing over that.
It became time for the Pay-per-View proper, a Promo played on the screen and they announced Ashanti. She sang America the Beautiful.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Rey Misterio, Jr. vs. Matt Hardy, ver. 1.0 (c)
The "Matt Facts" at home were that it was his 4th Wrestlemania and that he wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him, but we weren't able to see that there.
They did a whole bunch of flippy-flops, with Shannon Moore attacking Rey-Rey whenever he'd be in control. Matt hit the Twist of Fate but Rey kicked out.
Matt attempted to give Misterio a Top-Rope Razor's Edge, but Rey reversed it into a Hurricarana that got everyone out of their seats. Matt kicked out of that.
They ended up with Rey on Matt's shoulders. He attempted a Victory Roll but Matt grabbed the ropes and held on for the pin.
[Peanuts: $2.50]
Backstage The Miller Lite Catfight Girls arrive to loud cheers. Meanwhile Fred Durst and Limp Bizkit are on the ramp singing Rollin'. He and his dancers end up in the ring, then The Undertaker rides down on his motorbike, complete with Old Glory waving from the back. He and Durst high-five then Fred leaves.
Tag-Team Match
The Undertaker & Nathan Jones vs. A-Train & The Big Show
But with Jones laid out this has turned into a 2 on 1 Handicap Match.
Taker gets an immediate Chokeslam on Albert and is able to hold his own against both men at first. One point had him going back and forth Avalanching them. But finally they're able to take control and beat on him. Everytime Undertaker would lock on a submission hold it would get broken by the victim's partner.
The Heels got control again and Big Show hit his own Chokeslam but Nathan showed up at that moment. The Giant rushed out to confront him and got kicked down for his trouble. Nate rushed the ring and hit his kick on Albert as well. Taker brought out the Tombstone Piledriver since it was a Special Occasion and his Undefeated Wrestlemania Streak remains intact.
[Large Pop: $3.50]
Backstage the Catfight Girls met up with Torrie and Stacy. Oh! Stacy, My God, Stacy was here, I hoped she would make an appearance. By the way, everytime they had a Catfight segment, they would do their trademark argument over something.
WWE Women's Championship: Triple Threat
Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria (c)
Trish looked absolutely great, she is definitely in shape. And Jazz, for all the fun I like to poke at her, has some muscles on her arms. I wouldn't want her to take a shot at me.
Jazz had early control, knocking Trish out of the way and focusing on Victoria. They worked together to pound on Trish for a bit, but then start in on each other again. Trish recovers and did a Bridge Rollup on Victoria (with Obligatory Women's Match Legspread) but Victoria kicked out.
Steven Richards tried to hit Trish with a chair but she ducked, the chair bounced off the rope and smacked him in the face. He was hit with Stratusfaction, Victoria tried to hit a move but it was reversed and Trish Stratus is for the fourth time the New Women's Champion.
[Polish Dog: $4.50]
Backstage The Coach interviewed The Rock. It was hard to hear what was being said, but Rock refused to say "Finally....The Rock has come back to Seattle!" which had some minor boos.
WWE Tag-Team Championship: Triple Threat
Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. Team Angle (c)
This match was not under tornado rules, so only two people were legal at a time and you could tag out to anyone.
Everyone took turns. Benoit caught Eddie in the Crossface but Chavo broke it up. Chavo suffered FOUR Rolling Germans in retaliation. Shelton Benjamin kicked Benoit and covered but Eddie broke it up. Everybody started fighting, and Rhyno hit the Gore on Chavo. He tried to cover but Eddie pulled him off, and while they were fighting Benjamin covered Chavo for the win.
This was Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas' first win since winning the belts and it was good they booked it that way because it gives them some legitimacy.
[Beer: $8.00]
Stacy and Torrie start arguing over whether Hogan or Vince created Wrestlemania. The Catfight Girls start the same argument but shift it to whether they'll settle the score in the ring or in bed.
Grudge Match
Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels
And now it's time for the matches everyone was wanting to see.
Jericho fortunately had his God-Awful goatee wrapped up in a knot. Michaels had a huge cheer going for him. He was supposed to be firing confetti bazookas into the crowd but two in a row were duds.
They punch on each other for a bit until Jericho ends up in a Figure-Four. Jericho escaped but Michaels worked on the knee and went for it again, but Chris shoved him off into the turnbuckle. Y2J tried throwing him over the top rope, but Shawn held on, flipped back over and Headscissored Chris out onto the floor.
Jericho gets the Walls locked onto Shawn while the ref is counting them both out. Chris rushes back in the ring to stop that, then returns to beat on Shawn some more.
Finally they're back in the ring, and Chris continued to work on Shawn's back, including a nasty looking Backbreaker.
Y2J poses to the crowd but Shawn kipped up behind him, hit an Inverted Atomic Drop and then a Moonsault! It only got two.
Jericho hit a Northern Lights Suplex for two, then hit the Lionsault but was too hurt to cover. By the time he did Shawn kicked out.
Shawn went for a Rana but it was reversed into the Walls of Jericho. Shawn fought hard and finally reached the ropes. Jericho tries it again but Shawn rolled him into a Small Package for two.
Jericho hit a Double Underhook/Tilt-a-Whirl then started the stomp to copy Shawn's Sweet Chin Music. He hits the Superkick but Shawn kicked out. He went for the Walls himself but Jericho escaped. He set Shawn up for a Belly to Back Superplex but Shawn shifted in midair and landed on him. Both men were out.
Michaels climbed up top but Chris pushed the ref into the ropes which made Shawn crotch himself. Chris tried a Superplex but got shoved off. Michaels hit the Flying Elbowdrop then kipped up again and struck up the band. Jericho ducked the Superkick and locked in the Walls yet again.
Shawn again reached for the ropes but Jericho dragged him back to the center. Again Shawn crawled and this time he reached the ropes.
Shawn hits the Superkick but is too slow to cover, Chris kicked out. Shawn then rolled up Y2J and got the win!
Afterwards Shawn offered to shake Jericho's hand for a match well fought. An emotional Y2J instead embraced Shawn to a nice cheer...but then his trick knee kicked in and Shawn fell to the ground.
[Program: $10.00]
Sylvain, the French-Canuck referee who Vince paid to screw Hogan against The Rock last month, is seen going into McMahon's dressing room.
A promo played for GOLDBERG who has finally signed with the WWE. All of us were cheering loud for that until I remembered that I hate the guy: his sloppiness ended Bret Hart's career and he has never accepted responsibility for that. But then I decided to screw that thought, afterall I was most likely going to cheer Austin the wife-beater too.
Limp Bizket played another song (with members from Korn and Snot in the band) while the Arena sat bored.
Then they showed a long promo of Torrie walking around with Hugh Hefner and signing copies of her Playboy.
The Coach came out on the ramp to announce the Catfight. A bed was setup near the entrance. It wasn't in a good spot for Section 306 to see but we were still able to see enough.
The Miller Lite Catfight Girls come out, but before they could start their pillowfight Stacy came out and said it would be a Threesome. I finally got to see Stacy! And then to no surprise Torrie came out to say that it would in fact be a Foursome.
The Catfighters start in on each other while Stacy and Torrie choke each other.
One by one shirts got ripped off and we had some more OWML (see Women's Match above)
Everything was great until they pantsed Coach. Now really, did we need to see Jonathon Coachman in his underwear? There was children in the arena for Godsake.
They rolled him up for some kind of pin then all four girls left together.
[Safeco Field Parking Garage: $20.00]
It was announced that a Safeco Field record had been broken: 54,093 fans.
World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H (c) vs. Booker T
HHH got a surprisingly loud pop, but the pop got louder when Ric Flair came out. I had waited over twenty years to get a chance to see Ric Flair and finally there he was.
The match, however, was just a glorified Raw squash. It was boring because HHH hardly did anything but keep Restholds on Booker, only when Flair would get involved would it get a little bit exciting. It looked like Booker might win afterall, but Hunter hit The Pedigree out of nowhere, and then after waiting forever finally covered Booker T and got the win.
I forgot that I wasn't going to be the Backstage No-It-All today and was pissed. Triple H is nearly crippled, but he's banging the owner's daughter in real life and is now engaged to her, so he gets to be one of the top men in the fed even though he hasn't been able to wrestle a decent match since 2000. He never allows the men working with him to look good, and he has succeeded in emasculating everyone on the Raw roster. The Raw ratings continue to tumble downwards because nobody cares to watch anymore. Why would they want to watch what looks to be just a show of Triple H surrounded by a bunch of chumps who aren't in his league. And those of us who know better are tired of watching workers who are far superior to him made to be his bitches so that his Ego remains stroked.
What makes this worse is the racism angle that had been played: Now we can assume that yes indeed, Black Men are not in Triple H's league and are far inferior to his Superior Blood. Heil Hunter!
Thank God for the next match, it succeeded in taking the bad taste out of my mouth.
[T-Shirt: $25.00]
It was announced that Wrestlemania XX will be in Madison Square Garden. I just might be getting some travel arrangements made.
Twenty Years in the Making
Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon
During the promo for this match I called my Old Man so he could hear the crowd and the pyro and the noise. I don't know how much he heard 'cuz I couldn't hear him at all hardly.
It's easy to forget that Vince McMahon is huge himself, and that his arms are just as ripped as anyone elses on his roster.
Hogan got the first offense in, pounding on McMahon's head but Vince got back with a shot to the ribs and worked on them for a bit. They do a Test of Strength and McMahon gets Hogan down on his knees. Hogan looks to the crowd and we all cheered until he was able to power himself out.
They go outside and Vince tried to hit Hogan with a chair but missed. Vince got rammed into the steel post then Hulk totally whacked him across the face with the chair, busting him open. He beat on him some more with the chair.
Hogan swung again but Vince ducked and one of the Spanish Announcers accidentally ate the chair. Vince takes the chair back and smacks Hulk around. While Hulk is dazed Vince reached under the ring and brought out a ladder, setting it up between the two announce tables.
McMahon bashed Hogan in the head with a monitor then propped him up on the Spanish table. Vince climbed the ladder, did Hogan's hand to the ear thing to loud boos, then did a Flying Legdrop off the top of the ladder through Hogan and the table.
Both of them wallow around on the ground, but then Vince rolls Hulk into the ring and goes for the pin: he only got two.
Vince went back under the ring and came out with a Lead Pipe. Hogan used the last of his strength to Galotta Vince right in his sack and they're both out.
But wait: a masked man ran into the ring. He tore off his mask and robe and it was ROWDY RODDY PIPER which got the ABSOLUTELY LOUDEST cheer of the night and marked the spot where I lost my voice.
"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, IT'S HOTROD HOLY SHIT IT'S RODDY PIPER OH HOLY JESUS IT'S HIM"
Piper grabbed the pipe, kicked at Vince a couple times, but then walloped Hogan with it and left the arena to boos. I kinda saw that one coming since he had taken so long, and I was laughing with what little voice I had left over the fans booing someone who 60 seconds prior had the loudest cheer of the whole damn show.
Vince slowly crawled over and covered, but Hulk kicked out. Vince went for the pipe again but the ref stepped on it to keep him from getting it. Vince beat up the ref, botched an attempt at throwing him over the rope but got him out on the second try. Vince grabs the pipe and motions for someone from the back. Out come two referees, but one of them is Sylvain. He beats up the second ref then goes in to officiate the ending.
McMahon clocks Hogan with the pipe again then hits him with his own Legdrop but HULK KICKED OUT AND HE'S HULKING UP. The crowd had not been alive like this for anything else in the show before or since.
Vince continues to pound but to no avail. Hogan takes a second to dispose of Sylvain, and McMahon's attack from behind had no effect. Into the ropes, the Big Boot and Hogan hit the Legdrop. Then he hits another! Then Hogan hits the third legdrop, one of the legit refs slips in, and Hulk Hogan got the pin.
Shane McMahon came down to the ring in a suit. It looked like he was telling Hogan he was only there to attend to his dad. Hulk held open the ropes to let him through. Shane raised Vince's hand and tried to get the crowd to applaud his effort but this is Vince McMahon we're talking about: everybody booed.
[Official Wrestlemania XIX Jacket: $250.00]
Grudge Match
The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
For a bad guy, Rock got a huge pop. The pop for Austin would be bigger, but then the crowd seemed to be behind Rock for the match.
The background for this match is that Rock has never beaten Austin, and the Wrestlemania record is 0-2.
Austin went for the Stunner early but Rock pushed him off. They brawl outside for a bit, then get back in the ring where Rock slapped on the Sharpshooter. Austin escaped but was thrown back into the post. Rock put on Austin's vest (which got cheers from everyone for the sheer ballsiness of it) and ended up wearing it for most of the match.
Austin hits the Thesz Press then stomps a mudhole in Rock. Rock kips up and knocks Steve down.
Austin hits the Rock Bottom on Rocky but it only gets two. Rock retaliates by hitting Austin with the Stone Cold Stunner but that also only gets two.
Austin hits his own Stunner which sent Rock flying, but Rock kicked out (!!!) and hit a Low Blow. He went for the People's Elbow but missed. Austin charged but was met with a Spinebuster. Rock tossed off the vest and this time hit the Elbow. Austin kicked out.
Rock hit the Rock Bottom but Austin kicked out. He hit a second Rock Bottom but Austin kicked out again. Once more Rock hit the Rock Bottom and third time was the charm.
Two great matches in a row, but unfortuately most people were now worn out before the Main Event.
[Front Row Seats: $400]
WWE Heavyweight Championship
Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle (c)
They start out slowly with grappling holds and reversals. They do some occasional punching or clotheslines, and went outside for a bit, but the early portion was all submission moves and counters.
It started to pick up, and Lesnar did TWO Belly-to-Belly Overhead Release Suplexes which were sickening to see even without Angle's neck problems.
Brock tries for another, but Angle reversed it into some Rolling Germans, with the fourth one being Released. Angle Slam was reversed into an F5 which was reversed into the Ankle Lock. This was great stuff to see.
Brock reached the ropes, but Angle pulled him off and kept the hold on. Brock nearly reversed out of it but Angle adjusted into a Half-Crab and locked it in.
Angle released the hold and charged Brock but was Backdropped out of the ring. He goes back in and did a Release German Suplex and send Brock all the way over on his face. Kurt hit the Angle Slam but Brock kicked out at two. I guess everyone kicks out of Finishers tonight.
Kurt goes for another but Brock rolled him up, it only got two. Brock hit the F5 but Kurt barely got his shoulder up before three! Ankle Lock again, and this time Kurt cinches it in with a Grapevine Lock as well, but Brock reaches the ropes.
F5 attempt is countered with a Small Package for two. Angle Slam attempt is hit with the F5! But instead of covering Brock got a grin on his face and climbed the top rope.
I was excited, this was supposed to be the debut of Brock's Shooting Star Splash that he used to do in OVW, I had my binoculars trained on him.
A Shooting Star Splash is where you're facing your downed opponent from the top turnbuckle. You do a backflip in the air and land on him. I must emphasize that you don't roll forward in the air, you roll backward.
It was booked to be the end of the match with Brock getting the pin.
But Brock didn't complete the flip and landed on top of his head.
Angle improvised and covered for a two count. Then he waited until Brock could hit another F5 and Lesnar got the pin.
A dazed Brock Lesnar stood sitting against the ropes while his music played. I don't know if the cameras were already off or not, but he eventually stood up and offered his hand to Angle, who instead of shaking his hand embraced him.
Then Angle left and Brock sat back down in the middle of the ring. Officials and EMTs were talking to him, and they rolled a stretcher down to the ring. It looked like one of the officials was arguing with Brock, who was probably insisting that either he was fine or that he wasn't going to be stretchered out in front of everybody. The officials relented, but Brock had an extremely difficult time just rolling under the bottom rope.
They all slowly walked him up the ramp, where he paused a couple times to raise the belt for the fans who were still there, and finally they went behind the curtain and the show was over.
Brock was taken to the hospital where it was confirmed he suffered a concussion. It's not the first Wrestlemania Main Event concussion, Football legend Lawrence Taylor suffered one also at Wrestlemania XI.
***
It took 90 minutes to get out of the building and through the crowd and down the road to where the bus to Alki was rerouted. I got home at 11:00 when the show ended at 9:00. I had been gone for 12 hours without eating or taking a bathroom break but it hadn't seemed that long.
The Raw roster is still in Seattle tonight for Raw from the Key Arena (happening right now as I finish this up), while the Smackdown roster will be taping their show in Spokane tomorrow.
[Just. Totally. Being There: Can't put a price on that]
