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A Conversation With the Vice President
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By Paul Shrug, Section News
Posted on Tue Apr 1st, 2003 at 04:57:39 AM PDT
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Vice President Dick Cheney is a man who exists in the back of many Americans' minds -- a man of highly respected intelligence, tenacity and courage who many people believe should be running the country instead of the president he so humbly serves.
Satanosphere, in an extreme stroke of good fortune, managed to score a phone conversation with the Vice President and his wife Lynne. It was agreed that no question, no matter how hard-hitting or opposing to their viewpoints, would be routinely dismissed. I expected perhaps 15 minutes of their time, but instead found their candor and openness somewhat surprising as we spent the huge part of an hour discussing the Iraqi conflict, their unexpectedly realistic perception of American politics, and their lives away from public forums.
It's one of the most amazing conversations I've ever had with someone, even as I was trying to choke back the astonishment over my speaking to the second-most powerful man in America and the woman who loves him. So without further ado -- here's a private audience with the Vice President of the United States, and his wife:
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| SOS: Mr. Vice President, Mrs. Cheney, first of all I want to thank both of you for taking time out of what I know is an insane schedule at the moment to talk to us. We really appreciate your time.
V.P. Cheney: No problem at all, Paul. Lynne, you on the other extension there?
Lynne Cheney: Yes, honey. Hello, Mr. Shrug.
SOS: Call me Paul, please ma'am.
Lynne Cheney: (laughs) Very well, Paul.
SOS: Well, let's jump right into the fray, as it were. Our first question comes from Matt Oneiros -- actually, before I ask that question -- I'd just like to make clear, Mr. Vice President: This is a no-holds-barred interview, correct? You're open to questions from our users that might have a different point of view than your own?
V.P. Cheney: Well, we've been discussing this tonight, and although I think it's safe to say there's a lot of matters about the international situation that we can't talk about, particularly involving war strategy -- and that the stance of this administration, and most American citizens, is pretty clear -- at this point, there's been so much reported in the press and major media throughout the world about the meaning of this mission, that we here in Washington don't feel the least bit reticent about proclaiming our position on the war. It's a big mistake to say that we haven't heard the protests of those against the current operation -- obviously we have, the President admitted as such -- but as the operation has developed, we're satisfied enough with its progress that we feel comfortable answering to those who may have criticism against it. And I personally feel we have the means and the support of reason to answer to anything we're currently doing as a nation in other parts of the world. I don't know much about your audience, but we feel comfortable enough in our motives and our policies -- I speak for the entire administration here -- that we feel prepared to answer any questions you, or the rest of the country, might have towards this administration.
I think there's a big misconception that this administration is blind to the voices of protest over this conflict, and it couldn't be further from the truth. The President has always been open to the idea that some segment of the American population would be against his policies, based solely on his lineage -- nepotism in reverse, if you will -- but judging from my knowing this man, our President, as I've come to know him, he's a lot more discerning than a lot of people think.
I mean, I won't lie to you, this whole interview we're having just happens to have come about from a fluke in our schedule (Laughs)
SOS: Oh, I'm quite aware of that, sir. (Laughter)
V.P. Cheney: But at the same time, we have to try and present a case to the American people -- all Americans. And we're confident enough in our case to try and do that to people who might be innately opposed to this administration. We have the facts -- we have the intelligence, and we're not the least bit afraid to present those facts. I think our resolve has been proven, about how we intend to react against Saddam Hussein's tyranny, and what our true interests are in this conflict. I really don't see any possible dispute about it. So I guess we're trying to appeal to the nation through whatever means we can, and that includes... well, tiny little sites like yourselves that might've gotten some national attention a bit more prematurely than it should have. (Laughter.)
Lynne Cheney: Oh, give them a break, honey! (Laughter.)
SOS: On behalf of Satanosphere, I appreciate your kindness. (Laughter.) Well, thank you very much, Mr. Vice President. As I said, I'd like to start off with Matt Oneiros's question -- I feel much better about asking it now, by the way, so thank you...(Laughter).
V.P. Cheney: Glad to help, Paul! (More laughter.)
SOS: Okay... Well, Matt asks -- "If the war is not about oil, then why are we having at this aid-for-oil deal? Doesn't it send a mixed message to the American people?"
V.P. Cheney: Well, that's sort of an example of reinterpreting the traditional policies of the U.S. Government that were in place long before the current conflict erupted. Aid-for-oil is a tradition of the last twenty years, and Iraq is by no means the only country or entity that we have entered into those kinds of agreement with.
This is something higher than oil -- this is the simple matter of disarming a stubborn and relentless dictator who clearly cannot be trusted with the weapons he's refused to give up. He's already used weapons on his own people -- the unfortunate reality of Saddam Hussein's regime is that it's resulted in the cruel suppression, torture and death of many citizens, and the propagandistic nature of his government simply can't be refuted internally. He's produced such an intense climate of fear that no humanitarian mind could possibly or rightfully turn their eyes away from it.
SOS: To restate the second question of Matt's, what message do you think this aid-for-oil to Iraq sends to the American people?
V.P. Cheney: I think Americans are fair. Despite the skepticism many liberal Americans have of this administration, I think the large majority of our country realizes that our "aid-for-oil" deals were made in good intent, and that they were exclusive of the humanitarian injustices of the regime of Saddam Hussein. We simply have to address those issues with him. Diplomatically, we have failed. We, and the rest of the world, have now had our hand forced, and that must be the concern of all Americans -- and the rest of the world, especially neighboring countries to Iraq. We will re-examine our arrangements with Iraq after the war as we do now, and that includes the so-called "aid-for-oil" deal.
SOS: Our next question is from BetweenNames: "This Bush-Cheney administration has significantly redesigned American foreign policy by launching this war in what is essentially a `pre-emptive strike' Do you think this policy of pre-emptive strikes is sound, and what do you foresee as its consequences with respect to U.S. foreign policy?
V.P. Cheney:: I'm not sure how we have gone against our stated foreign policy. This is not a pre-emptive strike -- this is a response to the failure of Saddam Hussein to properly disarm as required by the United Nations. We extended as much warning to him as we could give, until a decisive action on the part of this administration was required.
SOS:: Also from BetweenNames, "The Charter of the United Nations, Chapter 1, articles 3 & 4, states that member nations should refrain from acts of aggression against sovereign nations. This would seem to preclude a policy of pre-emptive strikes. In your opinion, is the United Nations obsolete?"
V.P. Cheney: We don't claim the United Nations to be obsolete whatsoever -- we did try to obtain their approval for this strike, but although we think such approval would be preferable, we've always maintained our right to make whatever decisions we see fit to preserve the security of the world. We do think the U.N. has seriously underestimated the threat and damage Saddam Hussein poses to the rest of the civilized world. Our intelligence and reconnaissance has returned evidence that the threat is far more serious than we believe the U.N. comprehends at this point, and we determined that the only way to remove this threat, apparently, was to act independently.
SOS: BetweenNames also asks: "How do you account for the fact that so many of the United States' traditional allies have refused to lend their support -- even their political support -- to the coalition efforts against Iraq?"
V.P. Cheney: We have the overwhelming support of over 50 countries in the world; we're quite confident we have the mandate of our allies and traditional strongholds. We're also confident our relations with our traditional allies will not suffer from this -- in fact, France has gone on the record about insisting this will not be a strain to the current friendship between France and the United States. We respect the difference of their opinion with us and don't expect any hostilities to manifest because of it. What a lot of people don't understand is that France, Germany and Russia are a lot closer to the United States' opinion than most people believe. We respect their opinions and their preferences as to how this should come out, but we also feel our disagreement with them is not something that will be ultimately fatal in our relationships with them.
SOS: DangerKitty asks, "Historically American involvement in international conflict has resulted in both improved presidential ratings and a rising economy. Do you feel that these factors may encourage a push for war on the president's part?"
V.P. Cheney: No. I don't think you'll find a single President who enacted policies based the effects it could have on his popularity -- certainly the current President doesn't, and I honestly don't think President Clinton or President Bush Senior did either. This operation is a moral imperative, a situation where we had to take a definitive stance. The by-products you mention aren't a factor here -- the harnessing of a threat to world peace and stability are the only reasons we're doing anything. That must be made absolutely clear.
SOS: Matt Hickey suggests that this is a distraction from our shaky domestic economy --
V.P. Cheney: I understand the Wag the Dog theory, but nothing could be further from the truth. Saddam Hussein poses a threat to his immediate neighbors, has annihilated and oppressed his own people, and that can't be debated. This mission is purely focused on returning stability to the Iraqi people and disarming a known violent threat. That's all. Mr. President is keenly aware of the domestic problems we face, and continues to address them. He is quite aware of the state of the nation, and I think he's handled it with remarkable awareness and seriousness. That will continue.
SOS: Comassion asks, "The war with Iraq seems to be increasing tension between outselves and our neighbors, specifically Russia, Japan, Germany, and especially Turkey. Coupled with the loss of human life, the overall cost of the war and subsequent occupation, is this war worthwhile?"
V.P. Cheney: Our relations with France, in fact, have actually not suffered whatsoever -- the president there insists that our disagreements will not in fact hamper our alliance and relations. We respectfully disagree with each other.
SOS: What do you think of the current anti-French feelings that many Americans are feeling at the moment?
V.P. Cheney: To be quite honest, they're uncalled for. France is not our enemy -- they are a sovereignty we consider our friends, and should continue to consider our friends. They're considering conditional support for the war, especially if it involves chemical warfare. Our relationship with France in fact may be stronger in the face of this disagreement -- our dialogue has intensified, we're on the same page about Saddam Hussein, but we just have a disagreement about how it should get done. The patriotism of some Americans is a welcome sight to see, and we understand and appreciate their support, but France is not an ally of Iraq and never will be with the current regime. We regret that they're being painted that way; it's a glaring inaccuracy.
SOS: BetweenNames asks, "There's been a lot of talk about Weapons of Mass Destruction and their potential dangers to the U.S. populace. Why is it that Iraq's immediate neighbors, who don't have the security of our military strength and the protection of two oceans, are not sufficiently concerned to support our war effort?"
V.P. Cheney: These countries have been neighbors and allies for years. Even with the brutality of Hussein's regime, there is, as we'll admit, mixed opinions over what he brings the region. There are a lot of citizens absolutely unaware of the threat he poses. They are being propagandized as to who Saddam Hussein actually is. Our intelligence knows differently. We've tried to ensure that he hasn't the means to inflict any possible harm, the harm he's capable of. He has refused and stood defiant of those orders. It's our responsibility as the most powerful country on earth to ensure that he doesn't inflict the same pain on smaller, less powerful countries surrounding him. What he did to the Kurds should provide ample evidence of what he's capable of. That is what we are trying to deter.
SOS: BetweenNames asks, "What do you say to the families of soldiers who are killed by "friendly fire"? Do you have any thoughts on why "friendly fire" has taken so many lives in both Gulf War conflicts?"
V.P. Cheney: First of all, we are terribly saddened by American deaths from friendly fire. Our hearts go out to families who have suffered because of it. But it's to be expected -- war is, despite all the strategizing and planning involved, a very inexact and unpredictable science. Collateral damage on both sides is to be expected. We feel terrible about the friendly fire in the Gulf War, but even the most generous estimates limit those types of fatalities to 35. Considering the scope of this war, and the still somewhat mysterious terrain it takes place on, we have to prepare ourselves for heavy losses on both sides. Certainly it doesn't make the lives of our soldier's families any easier, but we have to account for it.
SOS: This is also from BetweenNames: "The international protests against this war have been enormous. Why do you suppose this war is so unpopular internationally?"
V.P. Cheney:: Again, we have the support of over 50 countries in our alliance. I don't think this is an unpopular war -- citizens around the world realize it needs to be done.
SOS: But why is this war so unpopular? What drives so many people, all over the world, out into the streets to protest against this war?
V.P. Cheney: I can't really answer that. We respect the values and the right to protest this war, but as the President said, we can't allow those protests to mandate our policies.
SOS: Have you any thoughts, though, on why this war is garnering these types of protests? Especially given the relatively smaller protests over the first Gulf War?
V.P. Cheney: I don't think anybody wants war. Nobody ever wanted war. The Bush Administration didn't want it, certainly the soldiers in our armed forces would prefer not to be there. But war has occasionally been necessary. As to why people are protesting it, I think there are small contingents of the population who don't want to see war happen under any circumstances. But sometimes it's necessary -- it's always an ugly affair, and always tragic, but at times it's necessary. I think those who protest this war are overlooking the potential for terror that exists in the Saddam Hussein regime. It's a very real threat. We're confident the resolution of this war will bring that fact into light and that more Americans will understand.
SOS: BetweenNames has one final question: "How do you account for the failure, thus far, of the military to meet pre-war expectations?"
V.P. Cheney: As I said, war is an inexact and unpredictable science. We don't feel, however, that we are behind schedule, or that we have failed. We have to prepare Americans for the reality that this campaign might take longer than many think -- it's a thorough job that needs to be done. Our only expectation from this campaign is victory. We have no idea how long or how costly it will be. Nobody who has ever entered into war has ever been confident of how long it would take. We are only confident that we will prevail; there will always be snags and roadblocks ready to arise, and we have to prepare ourselves for that. We don't see this campaign as having failed at all, at any stage.
SOS: Actually, BetweenNames has one more question: "Undoubtedly, a man can't reach your level of political success without a finely developed sense of ethics. Can you share with us your philosophical ideas on what circumstances make telling a lie morally justifiable?"
V.P. Cheney: I'm not sure what you're referring to, but in my opinion there are no situations in which lies are morally justifiable. If they're questioning the forthrightness of this administration, all I can say is that the only reason we don't say anything truthful is when national security is threatened, and in those cases we merely withhold information. President Bush is a honest, hard-working American citizen, and has faced an incredible amount of difficulty already in his first term. He is working in the best interests of this country. I say that with complete assurance.
Lynne Cheney: If I could interject here, Dick -- I speak with a lot of our citizens on a private basis, and can assure you I've run into the same kind of cynicism about government that I think you're referring to, Paul. I think I understand your question. But Dick and I agree that this administration is made up of very sincere, very straightforward people who are trying to redress the bad image a lot of people have of the American government, and the American political system. I've met them and work with them on a daily basis, and that includes the President and his wife Laura. It would be ignorant to dismiss the perception of a lot of people have about the government, but I fully believe this administration is committed to the right things. And that includes being upfront with the American people. I know that's how our President works, and it's certainly how my husband works.
SOS: Thank you. Spider Jerusalem asks why we're focusing on Iraq, which has no known weapons of mass destruction, and not North Korea, who not only has such weapons, but is defying all attempts at diplomacy.
V.P. Cheney: The threat we perceive from Iraq is more pervasive. Also, attempts at diplomacy with North Korea aren't yet exhausted, though it's safe to say they're at a standstill. We simply can't afford to be everywhere at once. We're not convinced at this point that North Korea poses a more serious threat than Saddam Hussein.
SOS: Spider would also like to know about the appearance of impropriety given by the government's decision to award the main Iraqi oilwell firefighting contract, without bidding to Kellogg, Brown and Root, which is a subsidiary of (Cheney's old company) Halliburton.
V.P. Cheney: I can say with total certainty that I don't have anything to do with those negotiations. The staff who pulled that together was under absolutely no influence from us whatsoever in choosing their contractors. I believe they picked the best organization to handle the job, which is all we are really concerned with.
SOS: Spider would also like to know about the proposed cuts in veteran benefits and disability compensation, especially in a time of war...
V.P. Cheney: We're merely facing up to the realities of our federal budget. I wasn't directly involved in that, but I do think this administration is committed to ensuring the betterment of veterans' lives. We just have to be realistic. We're confident we'll find solutions in the future. But the House Budget Committee outlined, we have to operate this country within our means. We're confident this issue will be resolved, and we're absolutely committed to making the lives of veterans of this conflict manageable and reasonable once it's over.
SOS: Well, now that we've gotten that stuff out of the way, I thought we'd ask some of the more personal questions our readers had. The first one comes from the Manowarrior, who'd like to know which Manowar album is your favorite?
V.P. Cheney: Oh, no question: The Triumph of Steel, far and away.
Lynne Cheney: I'd have to agree with Dick.
V.P. Cheney: I mean, have you ever heard "Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy in Eight Parts"? Can you imagine the concentrated ambition behind that track? 28-plus minutes of absolute molten metal power?
Lynne Cheney: It's insane!
V.P. Cheney: I thought they'd never get over Ross the Boss leaving the band... I still love Battle Hymns, don't get me wrong, but The Triumph of Steel rocks!
SOS: Mister Rum and Coke asks, "Compare your credentials with that of the President. Compare your number of brain cells and your relative intellect. Now, aside from who his Daddy is, tell me how come that chump is President and you're not!"
V.P. Cheney: Well, to be quite honest, there's a very long lineage of giant penis size in the Bush family line, whereas we Cheneys tend to get stuck with the cartilege leftovers. Kind of a raw deal, but c'mon -- all imperial efforts are driven by the implied threat of emasculation, aren't they?
Lynne Cheney: "Respect the cock," as they say! (Laughter)
V.P. Cheney: Indeed, dear.
SOS: Mr. Rum and Coke also wants to know what your favorite position is.
V.P. Cheney: Missionary.
Lynne Cheney: Speak for yourself, boy.
V.P. Cheney: You don't like missionary?
Lynne Cheney: No, I like it, but... well, you know, sometimes a girl wants a little more adventure, know what I mean?
V.P. Cheney: Honey... my ticker's not all that up to snuff...
Lynne Cheney: I know, dear. Your heart problem's complicating. I'll manage. You still make my pulse race, tiger.
V.P. Cheney: You're the best, sweetie.
Lynne Cheney: You're one hot piece of ass, babe.
SOS: Finally, Mr. Rum and Coke asks, "If an Iraqi woman was absolutely gorgeous underneath her layers of robes, would you do her before blowing her up?"
V.P. Cheney: I don't think so. I'm pretty much a white-meat sorta guy, you know? Always have been. Catholic schoolgirls, hot urban professionals, soccer moms. I don't know if it's status or privilege or whatnot, it's just my personal preference. Not sure why.
Lynne Cheney: I'd do her, though.
V.P. Cheney: You rapscallion, you!
SOS: The Manowarrior asks, "How does it feel to have a minor league baseball stadium named after you?"
V.P. Cheney: Where's that?
SOS: Tacoma, Washington.
V.P. Cheney: That's nice of `em. What you want me to do, send `em a thank-you note?
SOS: The Manowarrior finally asks, "Why do you guys suck?"
V.P. Cheney: We watch the USA network.
Lynne Cheney: I collect ceramic unicorns.
V.P. Cheney: I secretly fantasize that my wife is actually Carol Channing and that she's asked me to end her long period of celibacy.
Lynne Cheney: I read Reader's Digest.
V.P. Cheney: That's basically why we suck.
SOS: Geek Foot asks, "Who gets more pussy, you or your daughter?"
V.P. Cheney: She does. Va-va-voom, know what I mean, pancho?
SOS: It's rumored that she may be in Baghdad as a human shield. Do you care if she dies?
V.P. Cheney: Hmm... Not sure. I guess I'd kind of miss her around the holidays.
Lynne Cheney: She makes her own greeting cards. She's pretty talented. I guess that would suck.
V.P. Cheney: Hey, listen, the way I see it, you go to the Middle East, you take your chances, know what I mean? Christ, I'm not gonna go there! Do I look that crazy? Forget it!
SOS: Geekie also asks, "When you were elected vice president, you had to take an enormous pay cut. How has that affected your household budget? How often are you reduced to eating top ramen?"
V.P. Cheney: We eat Top Ramen about five days a week.
Lynne Cheney: It's really good. I like the MSG a lot.
V.P. Cheney: Cup O' Noodles is a big favorite around here too. We bury the Styrofoam cups in the backyard when we're done.
Lynne Cheney: Either that or make mobiles.
SOS: From Captain Tennille, one of the founders of SOS -- "Have you now, or have you ever been, a goatfucker?"
V.P. Cheney: Is that for Lynne, or for me?
SOS: I believe the question's open to either or both.
V.P. Cheney: Well, personally, I can't say that I have ever been a... one of those, no. Can't speak for Lynnsey, though. (chuckles)
Lynne Cheney: Oh, Dick, you card. Of course not. What a silly question.
V.P. Cheney: It is a silly question, considering that everyone knows of our fondness for rodents.
SOS: Rodents. Would you care to elaborate?
V.P. Cheney: I think the implication is obvious, Paul.
Lynne Cheney: They're just so small and cute.
V.P. Cheney: Exactly. Now Rumsfeld, he's your goatfucker.
SOS: I'll make note of that. Okay, next question comes from Jessica -- "Do you know of the 'Street Meat'?"
V.P. Cheney: Lynne, what was the name of that restaurant in Chambourg?
Lynne Cheney: Oh, I know... hold on... it wasn't Les Asspants Déchiré, was it?
V.P. Cheney: No, no, Les Asspants Déchiré was the little bistro, I'm thinking of... oh, I remember: Le Rein de L'Haussement. They served this delicious little dish, La Surprise de Viande de Rue. Small chops of grade-A certified Street Meat in a cream sauce of capers and brandy... at least I think it was a cream sauce...
Lynne Cheney: You mean "crème sauce," dear.
V.P. Cheney: But of course. Yes, we know of Street Meat. If it weren't for Street Meat the Big Guy would have nothing to barbeque. We're well-stocked here at the DC ranch, amigo.
SOS: Jessica also asks, "Are we correct in assuming the `street meat' is a covert terrorist action?"
(long pause)
V.P. Cheney: No comment.
Lynne Cheney: None here either.
V.P. Cheney: Damn good eatin' though.
SOS: Finally, Jessica also requests that you two make out.
V.P. Cheney: Right now? We'd be glad to, if we weren't on the phone in separate rooms at the moment.
Lynne Cheney: Yes. Don't get me wrong, Dickie's a little tiger, it's just a matter of our current physical placement...
SOS: Well, in lieu of that, how about some phone sex?
(Long pause)
V.P. Cheney: I guess that makes sense...
Lynne Cheney: We are on the phone, honeybun.
SOS: That was my thinking.
V.P. Cheney: Okay... um, Lynnesey, are you in the position to...
Lynne Cheney: Already there, tiger.
V.P. Cheney: Okay... okay. Let me get my straps off... there.
Lynne Cheney: You're so meticulous.
V.P. Cheney: You drive me wild, Lynne.
Lynne Cheney: You make me hot, Dickie.
V.P. Cheney: So few understand our love, Lynne.
Lynne Cheney: So few understand love in general, Dickie. Are you touching it?
V.P. Cheney: Kind of.
Lynne Cheney: Mistress Lynne isn't happy when you don't touch it.
V.P. Cheney: Mistress Lynne must be... must be placated... must be satisfied... oh!
Lynne Cheney: Are you my little star?
V.P. Cheney: I'm your swingin' little star, baby... oh! Knocked over the nightstand! I'm so hot right now you could fry an egg on my pecs!
Lynne Cheney: Tell Mommy... oooooooooooooh, tell Mommy!
V.P. Cheney: Oh, sweet Jesus, thank God I'm nowhere near the red button right now or North Korea would die for our love!
Lynne Cheney: I want to lick your Inter Continental Ballistic Missile, Dr. Strangelove!
V.P. Cheney: I want to ride you harder than Slim Pickens!
Lynne Cheney: Jesus, they'll never get this stain off the mahogany desk! Freak me on the pavement, baby!
V.P. Cheney: Make me... make me... AAAAH! Fuck! I..... I.... (thudding sound) zzzzzzz...... zzzzzzzzzz........ zzzzzzzzzzz..........blip blip blip.......
Lynne Cheney: Dickie? Dickie? Are you all right?
V.P. Cheney: zzzzzzzzzzz........ zzzzzzzzzz..... ppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Lynne Cheney: Oh, fuck! His pacemaker's shorted out!
V.P. Cheney: zzzzzzzzzzzz........ zzzzzzzzz.......
Lynne Cheney: Dick! Dick! What year is it, Dick?? Tell Mommy what year it is!
V.P. Cheney: zzzzzzzz....ffffffftttttttt...... bbbbbbllllllllbbbbbbb......
Lynne Cheney: Oh, goddamn it! Dick, talk to me!!!
V.P. Cheney: zzzzzzzzzzz....... zzzzzzzzz..... zzzzzzzz........ bottom of the fourth.... now batting for the Florida Marlins, second baseman Luis Castillo...... zzzzzzzz...... bub bub bub bub......
SOS: Oh, my... I... uh....
Lynne Cheney: You asshole! You liberal scum! Now you've done it! We're all fucked now!
V.P. Cheney: zzzzzzzz...... zzzzzzzzzz....... come back, Shane! Come back! Fffffffffffffttttttttt........
Lynne Cheney: Do you realize what you've done?? Now who the hell's gonna run the goddamn country??
SOS: I... I didn't... I'm... oh, God, I'm so sorry, I....
Lynne Cheney: Sorry? Go fuck yourself, you... you... you indie-rock snob!
V.P. Cheney: zzzzzz..... it's getting hot in here..... so take off all your clothes.... zzzzzzzzz
Lynne Cheney: Great! Now I have to get a medic! Thanks a lot, you goatfucker! (Click.)
Dick Cheney. Statesman, father, husband. A man of mystery, leading a country through its most uncertain, mysterious times. I know I've gotten a picture of the man I never expected to receive, and I hope you have too.
Thank you for reading... and God bless America.
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