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Mom, Dad, stay out of the basement...
By Velveteen, Section Weird Posted on Tue May 13th, 2003 at 07:44:55 PM PDT

Tsk tsk... teenage girls these days... They have babies, drown them in the bath tub, and hide them in their bedrooms. Kristen hid her pregnancy from her parents and kept her dead baby in her basement for 41 days. The baby was eventually discovered by her parents who noticed a funky smell coming from downstairs. Kristen is being charged with first degree murder.

"After the child was born, Miss Cleaver had left four or five inches of water in the tub and the facts indicate that Miss Cleaver watched for the next four to six minutes as her newborn child drowned," Ken Kratz explained."
Gee, I'm glad this bitch isn't my mother. I wonder if she's mormon.

< Death Watch '03: Noel Redding (3 comments) | Don't let it die! (3 comments) >

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Mom, Dad, stay out of the basement... | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)

Why do these idiots kill their newborns? (none / 0) (#1)
by Mister Rum n Coke (mdhpiper@hotmail.com) on Mon May 12th, 2003 at 05:10:23 PM PDT
(User Info) http://rdos.blogspot.com

All they have to do is keep the head safe inside the cooter and they can kill them in any grisly method they desire without fear of any legal repercussions.

I'm sorry but I have had it! I have never heard of such a Christmas!! Sex... and drugs... an-an-and women being set on fire!

Why wait for that? (none / 0) (#2)
by hot blooded (ilovedraculaBUTIHATESPAM@hotmail.com) on Mon May 12th, 2003 at 05:14:21 PM PDT
(User Info)

I like to get a jump on things by killing millions of tiny, defenseless sperm.

hb: I'm having a party in my refrigerator and you're invited.
sw: That's so cool!
[ Parent ]

It's fun to kill spermies (none / 0) (#3)
by Mister Rum n Coke (mdhpiper@hotmail.com) on Mon May 12th, 2003 at 05:30:41 PM PDT
(User Info) http://rdos.blogspot.com

Trap them in a latex prison, then either toss them aside or flush them down their last water slide.

You can leave them exposed to the elements without any food (I guess their favorite is eggs) until they dry and either get brushed off or discovered by Kenneth Starr.

My personal favorite method of executing those millions of things that seem to form inside me is by finding an executioner willing to swallow them whole.

I'm sorry but I have had it! I have never heard of such a Christmas!! Sex... and drugs... an-an-and women being set on fire!
[ Parent ]

Ken Starr's coming over? (none / 0) (#4)
by Paul Shrug (paulshrug@YourSadCareerAsASpammer.gmail.com) on Mon May 12th, 2003 at 05:42:13 PM PDT
(User Info) http://museumpoparch.blogspot.com

Oh dear. I better wash the bathtub.

--Shrug
Now Doing Weddings And Irony
[ Parent ]

Great stuff (none / 0) (#5)
by matt (matt [at] satanosphere dotcom) on Tue May 13th, 2003 at 09:54:26 AM PDT
(User Info) http://www.satanosphere.com

Perhaps one day we really should add a "dead babies" topic...

_____

Who has the "Oblique Diary Crown" right now? Rat? Well hand it over, buddy. -Zombified