What is it with people who are arrogant or insecure enough to go out and buy a monster truck with an all-leather interior and sixteen CD players? What is it with guys who think these Fat Bastard cars are going to pull chicks, or - worse - mothers who feel they need an extra-safe, extra-expensive, extra-dangerous-for-everyone-else-in-a-normal-car-never-mind-if-they-have-children-too SUV because they need to pick their darling brats up from their snooty private schools and take them to soccer practice?
What is it with people who are selfish enough to buy an enormous car in a suburb with tiny narrow roads, park on the corner WITH THE FRONT WHEELS STICKING OUT because "it makes it easier to get out in the morning," never mind that the poor bastards on the roads practically have to swerve into oncoming traffic to miss said monster truck.
SUVs are acceptable if you live in the country. They are acceptable if you own more than one hectare of land and need to drive around in it. They are acceptable for traversing a desert or cattle station. They are not acceptable, practical, safe or convenient in the city or suburbs because there is more than one car on the road at any given point in time, and the rest of us can't usually fit around your fat-arse fucking SUV.
SUVs were developed to enable leathery types to travel thousands of miles across what is essentially bandit country in many parts of the world. No one needs a tank to take their kids to school, go to the hairdressers and drive home from work. Please lock the fucker in your garage until you do actually go camping, exploring or feel a sudden urge to drive up a vertical cliff face.
I have made my peace. Thank you, and goodnight.
