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Section Pages Now Working by Captain Tenille News::Satanosphere Project 300: No. 100 by Paul Shrug Columns::Music or Muzak? Death Watch '03: Fred Blassie by Mister Rum n Coke Columns::Death

The War, The Web, opinions, and assholes
By hikokigumo, Section Diaries Posted on Fri Mar 21st, 2003 at 06:25:37 PM PDT
I doubt I'm the first to consider that cynicism is just an advanced stage of laziness. Whether or not the two are related, the Web has always done a nice job of satisfying the needs of both, offering a medium that requires neither effort nor strong convictions. I mean, sure, I could walk into some bar or shopping mall and announce my incisive and painstakingly researched opinion on exploding kooky little foreigners and our nation's leader's simian countenance. There's nothing that prevents me saying whatever I like to whomever I like. But were I to take my bold and ground-breaking rhetoric out of the digital world and into the tangible one, there could be repercussions. Someone could disagree with me, or call me a bad name. Maybe I'd even get my ass kicked. Seems wiser, then, to commit my views to medium with only the permanence and reliability of electrical impulses. God love The Web. (2 comments, 703 words in story) Full Story

Diary of the Week #19 || Consumer Comparison: Which ISP fucks you harder?
By hikokigumo, Section Diaries Posted on Fri Apr 12th, 2002 at 10:57:18 PM PDT
This story begins back in the early nineties, when I was a wee technophobic young thing with a fancy new 2400 baud modem. Getting online for the first time, when online meant calling some fifteen year old boy's basement BBS, wasn't easy. But it got easier, and as it did, I was able to have conversations on those BBSs and there learned about the fantastic, exotic world wide web. They had "chat rooms" and an MTV "homepage" and all the funky shit. I was gonna get me some. I was 16 by the time I convinced my dad that an internet connection was worth the cost. That settled, we carefully went over our options as a household and decided on a dial-up account from a scary Christian family with unbelievable uptime. Once I had the funding in order, it was so simple. One telephone call, a few papers to sign, a floppy with the first browser our little 486 had ever seen, and.. boom. [editor's note, by Quacky] What can I say but "uh. wow." I always know'd you cuud rite good, but this is real perty! Now go-on git! Rite sumpen else good! (3 comments, 1296 words in story) Full Story

I know you're all as shocked as I am.
By hikokigumo, Section Diaries Posted on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 08:48:02 AM PDT
Really. matt, your upstanding admin, is drunk. Drunk and goofy. (e.g., "Hee hee.. hey fuckface! Yeah, hee hee, you! Ha.. fuckface.") For those of you trapped here in this little box who never get to see what he's really like, I thought I would share. (4 comments, 323 words in story) Full Story

Yay! I'm a drunken fool!
By hikokigumo, Section Diaries Posted on Mon May 14th, 2001 at 04:48:49 PM PDT
I'm sure my mom would have been proud of me last night. Happy Mother's Day, Mom! You've raised a reprobate! (143 words in story) Full Story